As you can tell I'm a huge Final Fantasy fan, I mean come on my name and avatar give it away. Well I've been getting pissed with Square-Enix a lot lately and I haven't done a rant in 11 months so yeah, I've finally been pushed into a rage big enough for another rant and again it's on Square-Enix!
If you have your ear to the ground or thumb on the pulse or whatever, you've seen a couple of aggravating news articles on Final Fantasy let's start with the one about a Final Fantasy X remake.
A while back Square announced they were going to give Final Fantasy X a XIII reskin job, sounds good right? Well thing is they plan on doing some "tweaks" to the game. In the world of gaming tweaks can be a vague statement but thanks to a recent article about a "Theoretical Final Fantasy VII remake"(more on that later) it means changing stuff they think they need to change. In other words they spit on the saying "If it isn't broken, don't fix it" and will do who knows what to it... then again I could be over thinking it. Now if they just fix glitches then hell yeah I'll be happy but if they screw with something like say... the battle system then I'll go old testament on them. Harsh but fair.
Now a short while ago Square decided to say the dumbest thing they could say, they want to make a Final Fantasy a year... not a game with Final Fantasy in the title per year but a main numbered Final Fantasy a year. This means one of 2 things, sequelitus aka FFXIII-3 then XIII-7 or the even more dreaded Final Fantasy XV,XVI,XVII a year apart. There are big problems with this if you haven't already worked it out. It could mean poorer quality games both visually and story wise. Admittedly they are already fumbling with story since the main man Hironobu Sakaguchi and a lot of his team left Square back in 2003 but at least they made an effort.
A yearly schedule for Final Fantasy will cause the series to suffer and we can blame Call Of Duty for it... you heard me! You see they think because a game in a franchise being released yearly would guarantee sales but what they don't realise is that Call Of Duty uses recycled visuals and is about as deep as a teaspoon and RPGs have to be as deep as a either a swimming pool like the Atelier Iris series or as deep as an ocean like Skyrim... unlike Final Fantasy XIII which was as deep as a kiddie pool. Admittedly the people who wrote the article also pointed out Assassin's Creed but the difference is that Assassin's Creed had it's story planned out from the first game and they have been adding to their vast pile and want to thin the pile down so they aren't bogged down with papers and you can see that Assassin's Creed Revelations looks a slight bit crappier then Assassin's Creed II.
Now on to the story that keeps coming back like herpes, the Final Fantasy VII remake teaser articles. This comes frequently in the gaming news and I'm sick of it. Yeah I get it Square-Enix, you're not making it until you're about to run out of money and have it sitting in a glass case for an emergency but SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT! We keep getting interview articles with no talent hack Yoshinori Kitase teasing us with Final Fantasy VII remake teases with comments that say they won't do it but he just won't shut up! Recently to add insult to injury the hack Kitase was talking about a "Theoretical remake of Final Fantasy VII" where he states that he would change and alter stuff in the game for reasons like "If I may speak as a game creator, if we were to produce a remake of 7, for example, I would be really tempted to delete things and add new elements, new systems or whatever because if we were to make exactly the same thing now, it'd be like a repeat." and "It'd be an issue of repetition and not as much fun to make such a game. So I'd be really interested in rearranging games or reshaping games into something slightly different even though it's supposed to be the same game." In other words if they did do it, it wouldn't be Final Fantasy VII it would be Zombie Final Fantasy VII... but with no actual zombies... unless it's an enemy I can't remember.
Now here's the thing, most fans who want a Final Fantasy VII remake don't want a remake, they just use that word because they don't know the real word they want to say. We want a RESKINNED FINAL FANTASY VII and not a remake. I and most of us Final Fantasy VII fans want the pre rendered background but with HD textures and the Final Fantasy VII Advent Children models with the original VII's costumes and orchestral music for the game and that's it. If my calculations are correct Square could pump out a HD reskinned and orchestral soundtrack Final Fantasy VII in 14 months and it would sell like hotcakes! Especially if they added Advent Children to the PS3 version on the same disc. Seriously if they released a HD reskinned Final Fantasy VII with orchestral music instead of the synthesized music it had with Advent Children on the disc for the US$60 it will make over a million pre orders before release in the US alone and if you throw in the rest of the world it could be close to 10 million in pre orders alone. Just look at the downloadable version on PSN's sale and you got the base figures of how many would pre order it on announcement alone.
While I'm ranting another thing pisses me off about Square-Enix, why Final Fantasy XIII-2? You ended FFXIII perfectly and now you want to shoe horn in more garbage? Final Fantasy X-2 had something to work with at the end of Final Fantasy X and was planned from the beginning but FFXIII-2 is just a cash in title that is going to suck! You also said you were going to fix the problems XIII had, so you decide copying Shin Megami Tensei and Chrono Trigger was a good idea? Idiots! What was wrong was the fact we could only control 1 character in battle and the game strung us along with no turning back, exploration or actual side quests! Monster Hunting isn't a side quest! Just a waste of time! Now you're giving us time travel and monster partners? Are you guys that untalented now? Ripping off another successful franchise and butchering the best game you've ever made's main premise? Seriously hire people with ideas and talent or better yet give Final Fantasy back to it's creator to work on, hire Mistwalker to make it and publish it under your house. I'm sure Hironobu Sakaguchi would love to work on Final Fantasy again, but without you guys sticking your dicks in it.
Also another thing I feel like ranting about... where the fuck is Final Fantasy Versus XIII? You've been working on that game for 7 years! What's taking so damn long?! Here's a game that has a chance of western appeal since it runs Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep's battle system with all the core elements of Final Fantasy and you keep holding it back and feeding us crappy trailers? Finish the fucking game, release it on PS3 only and watch your fan base grow for Christ, Buddha, whatever's sake! FUCK!
And where the hell is Kingdom Hearts 3? Nobody but me cares about the off shoots of Kingdom Hearts because they don't care as much for the story as I do and they just want a Kingdom Hearts HD collection with Kingdom Hearts 1,2 and RE: Chain Of Memories and Kingdom Hearts 3... that's it... they're morons! I have all of the Kingdom Hearts games and as much as I love the off shoots people just want KH3. Just give the idiots what they want to shut them up for a while and then get back to me and my love for the story.
When the hell are you going to reskin Chrono Trigger with 3D graphics? Why haven't you reskinned Chrono Trigger with 3D graphics? This is what you do, use Cel shading because it's cheaper and makes Akira Toriyama's artwork look awesome, use the Dragon Quest games engine to build it and watch that sweet cash roll in on it and release it on every console and the PC for like US$40 easy cash cow to suckle off.
Just make Final Fantasy XI free to play! Seriously I quit it because I got sick of paying $20 a month and going nowhere! Here's how you do it idiots. Make it free to play and allow people to buy the artifact armour as an option instead of questing for it for like US$1 per piece of armour and also sell items to allow people to solo the game if they don't want to team up. While you're at it allow people to buy Gil for cheap or better yet return the original selling prices for items back. That's all you have to do to make me come back and bring people back to Final Fantasy XI. While I'm at it no more expansion packs sold digitally for PS2 and Xbox 360 and for God's sake release a PS3 version already! You're missing out on a potential goldmine with a PS3 release.
Give me a Final Fantasy IX Vivi figurine! I can't get it anywhere in Australia and he's my favourite Final Fantasy character other then Squall and put Vivi in the next Disidia Final Fantasy, while we're at it release the next Disidia Final Fantasy on PS3! Also Final Fantasy IX on 3DS with better texture... make it so... NOW!
Square-Enix, Why didn't you ever give Grandia III a PAL territory release?! I wanted that game so much and I never got to see it! I want that game! I own Grandia and Grandia II and when you never released Grandia III I got really pissed off and I still am! It's a bit hard to make sales in the western region if you're not releasing games in the west so stop bitching and start releasing! IDIOTS!
Shut off Final Fantasy XIV! It's a money pit! Just give all the Final Fantasy XIV players a free copy of Final Fantasy XI and pack it in. Seriously that game has too much that needs fixing and Frankensteining it over and over again is wasting time and money, just give up on it and admit that you made a shitty game. Look you made one good MMORPG and it still works up too a point, just restore what you ruined in that, make it free to play and never make a MMORPG again. You guys and MMO's just don't blend that well and you should just ride Final Fantasy XI until people don't want to play a free to play version of it anymore and don't you dare do a World Of Warcraft free to play until level 20 stunt! That's retarded and you want to redeem yourselves not cripple yourselves further.
Kill Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles off and make more Final Fantasy Tactics games! The FF:CC games are crap and just get crappier with each new version. Let it die and make more Final Fantasy Tactics games. They are fun and strategic games and if you make them for smartphones and sell them for less then $10 you'd see a profit and have a high demand for them in the portable market. Also keep the Final Fantasy Tactics series on portables since they are better portable games then console games. The Tactics series just works better in short burst of play instead of long plays on the home consoles.
Why did you ruin Parasite Eve with The 3rd Birthday? I liked Parasite Eve and then you ruin it with 3rd person shooting gameplay similar to Gears Of War, take away the Parasite Energy abilities and write a mediocre story? I love Parasite Eve 2 and wanted another game like that with modern visuals not what The 3rd Birthday gave me.
Stop killing what I love! I loved a lot of your games like people love puppies and what you did to Final Fantasy and Parasite Eve is like you taking my puppies and performing unnecessary surgery on them saying that you're making them better. There's an old saying that goes "If it isn't broken, don't fix it!" how about following it for a change? Also Last Remnant SUCKED! I got psyched for it and it turned out to be a crappy game on a crappy game engine(yeah I said it, the Unreal engine sucks!) and was too expensive for what it was. I'd trade Last Remnant in if it wasn't for the fact no one wants it.
I want a Star Ocean Complete Collection on PS3! Put the PSP version of 1 and 2 on the same disc with HD upscaling along with Star Ocean:Til The End Of Time in HD and Star Ocean The Last Hope and while you're at it you can throw in a timeline extra showing use how they connect to each other. Why haven't you done this anyway? Again another cash cow you've ignored for stupider endeavours. It's like you hate money or something? Or is it you don't know how to make money?
Wow this is a lot longer then I thought it'd be. Square-Enix just pisses me off so much and I'm sure I'm not the only Square-Enix fan who feels like this. Ever since the merger in 2003 of Squaresoft and Enix it's like they got dumber and less business savvy. To think if it wasn't for Final Fantasy in 1987 saving Squaresoft's arse they'd have never been, and now the same franchised that saved them may end up ruining them with the way they're running the ship. At least they haven't killed Dragon Quest... as far as I know. I only ever played the crappy Dragon Quest VIII and never bothered with the others and they had a chance of getting me into it with the Dragon Quest Anniversary Collection for Wii but it never got an English release or was released in Australia... morons! Yeah in short Square-Enix is run by morons who have a vault filled with cash making ideas, but forgot the combination.